perksofbeingmel

It’s something I dread every single day.  It’s something my mind can’t handle even thinking about.

Imagine if it happened.  Imagine what I’d do.  

Think about what would become of the person everyone once knew.  

What would my life be like?  Would I be totally different?  Would I ever be able to think of life itself the same again?  

How long would I mourn?  How long would I feel dead?  How long until my weary heart would lay upon your new bed. 

What would I do with myself?  Would I take drastic measures?  

Would my mind and heart connect the dots and realize life has to keep going?  

Could my heart even take the pain, could my mind even fathom the tragedy? 

Would it be my final test of strength, to see how much I can truly take?

Would I consider my life worthy of continuing?

Do we have to acknowledge the possibly tragedies that could happen in this life?  Does it help to notice or realize what could happen before it happens?  Does acknowledging the possibilities help with the pain that has yet to arrive?  A busy mind can’t help but realize that someday you’ll no longer be surrounded by the person you love, or maybe the pet you’ve had for years, or maybe the dream you know is slipping away.  A busy mind can’t help but predict what they would do with themselves if the tragedies in their dreams should ever haunt their real life.  A busy mind would rather be blissfully unaware of such possibilities, but cannot be anything except aware.  A busy mind feels what hasn’t even happened yet.  A busy mind tries their best to prepare themselves for the inevitable.  A busy mind weeps for the foreseeable future instead of focusing on what’s happening now.  A busy mind is helpless.  A busy mind is lonely.  A busy mind is a busy mind who cannot control its own busy mind.