perksofbeingmel

Today is a beautiful day, so I’m spending a little time reflecting. I guess you could say I’m reflecting on 2015, being the New Year and everything. I kind of can’t believe it’ 2016 already. They say that everyday kind of feels the same, but when you look back everything is different. I find that to be very true sometimes.
And as I’ve said before, I think New Years resolutions are kind of bullshit. I think it’s more productive to think back on what you’ve learned and try to move forward with it, or try to be better than you were. Take what you’ve learned or experienced and apply it in a new way.
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I’ve always known that you can’t really rely on others the way we sometimes think we can. Whether it be relying on someone to be kind enough to hold the door open an extra 5 seconds for you, or relying on someone you trust to be honest with you. It’s sad, really. Some people can’t even rely on themselves. Last year I learned that just because you picture someone a certain way, it doesn’t mean that’s how they actually are. I’ve also learned that anybody can flip their switch and become crazy or become someone completely different. And it’s hard to grasp that when someone decides to change, (for better or worse) it’s ultimately out of anyone’s hands. People make choices. Conscious choices and unconscious choices. There’s not always an immediate result of the choices we make. Sometimes it takes a while before the results kick in.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about friendship. And the only true friendship that is ever constant, is family. (What I really would like to say is people suck and you’re lucky to find real friends.) I’ve always known how lucky I am to have the family I have. But being gone for over three years now, I’ve felt even more lucky, and truly more appreciative to have a family to go back to once we’re done in TN. I miss my family so much more, now that they aren’t a short drive away. (Unless you consider 7+ hours a short drive, which I don’t.)

Anyways. I’m very lucky to be best friends with my sister. We are very different in a lot of ways, but what we have in common is our love and understanding for one another. Sharing a whole life with each other, going through a lot of the same experiences, how could we not be best friends? I’m also very lucky to have my friends Christina, Alli, and Janelle. The first real “girl” friends I’ve had. I finally have people to do fun things with! (Like MGK concerts, thanks Prangley!) And when we were back home for Christmas, it was nice to have people to come back to. People to be excited to see. We are all really sad knowing that we are all parting ways soon. But we all want to stay in touch and remain close even though we will be separated. And I know we will actually stay in touch, because that’s what we do with our husbands. All of them being military, we have no choice but to keep in touch and keep the love strong when distance becomes a factor. I guess that’s what my mom meant when she said, “You’ll met long lasting friends when you’re in the military.”

I had to deal a lot with letting go last year. Letting go of a certain picture I have of someone in my head, letting go of things that I can’t control, letting go of feelings I can’t control. It’s hard to let go. It’s hard to think about moving forward when you don’t really want to. Yeah, change can be good, but sometimes it doesn’t feel good. And maybe it will get better with time, or maybe it never will. I think that’s why change seems so scary. I’m coming to terms that letting go is just something we have to learn to do. It doesn’t matter if we want to or not.

Onto other things. My sweet Macaroni boy is going to be two years old this year! And my Prada girl is going to be 4! (at least that’s our guess) I told Prada that she can stick with being 3 1/2, the way Charlotte from Sex and the City stuck with being 27. I’ve had a lot of people ask me if we board the dogs and how we take them on every trip with us. And I’ve told every person that, “If my dogs can’t go, we don’t go.” Bottom line. Mac and Prada are my first priority, and I don’t ever want that to change. (1 reason why I’m so scared to have babies…) And in a few months we will be moving into a house, and a big back yard is a MUST. We are so excited to move and have more space. I jokingly said that “my entire outlook on life will change and be more positive once we are moved into a house.” But I kind of wasn’t joking at all. I’ve become so appreciative of space. Having to be in 650 ish square feet for 2 years…yeah, I’m ready for some more space. So we’ve been trying hard to de-clutter and not accumulate more shit. We follow the “If you haven’t worn it in 6 months or longer, donate it” rule. OH, and we got our own washer and dryer set. WHOOP. Hashstag grown up things. 😀

Kyler and I will be married for three years this year. Whoo! I love anniversaries. Even if we don’t really celebrate, it’s kind of a silent celebration, and it makes me smile. I still say that being married is the most wonderful thing in the world. Because it is. Having someone to love and love you back, there’s no way to describe it.

So, what’s in store for 2016? A LOT. At least it seems like it. Event wise, my step brother Cody is getting married in, then in July CHET is getting married! OH MY LANTA. I can’t really talk much about it because I’m going to start bawling in the middle of Starbucks. But that will be the next time we go home, and we’re so excited! Then my Grandma and Grandpa are renewing their vows and having a party to celebrate 20 years together, and I really hope we can make it home for that, too. Then Kyler will probably head home in October for Bear camp again. And Dillon will get back from deployment in a few months. And I’m keeping my fingers crossed for something B I G to happen to me this year. I’m not sure what that something will be yet, but I’m keeping my mind o p e n for possibilities

There is always something to look forward to. Even if you don’t know it yet. Keep your eyes and your mind open!