perksofbeingmel

the ebbs and flows of my frustrations leave me unable to express my desires

the emotions I’m always told are too much

too sensitive

“nobody cares” – but they do.

I feel and hear everything, all at once, it’s not euphoric, it’s chaotic

chaos I channel into happiness, and my everyday bliss for life – thank goodness I am a lost soul but happy person

never putting my chaos on other people, I don’t want it, why would they? why bother explaining myself, though so often I have to

finally solving my own problems for $135 a week

except it’s not solving anything, just maneuvering through what my brain needs that week

but I’m proud of myself no matter the thoughts – and there’s a lot of thoughts

I woke up today and immediately began what most people do at the end of the day

except my days never end in my head – it’s exciting and whimsical like Christmas time

in a constant state of feeling bad for not being able to handle every single thing every single day

the dishes can fuck off and so can my clean clothes

a new plan for organization that only lasts 3 weeks

the moments I can break away from myself are filled with my favorite songs from 2011

the music of the world clogs my brain and hurts my eyes

your simple conversation just interrupted my entire day

I wish I could tell everyone I can’t handle their opinions or complaints – I only have room to exude happiness

interactions are only fun and fulfilling, but no-one gets the memo – instead of bleed their struggles the way I do, they shove them down my throat & they become my own

people who aren’t self aware enough to give a shit – that’s why I cling to my routine of solitude and select interactions