perksofbeingmel

I wasn’t expecting to begin feeling somewhat numb to you

From so heavily dependent on you, to now feeling avoidant and un phased

Not missing you and not craving your attention is almost satisfying 

From being shaped by you to un shaping myself of you 

I never expected it 

But all my work must have led me here – to be able to handle this 

It wasn’t even what I was working towards, but such is life from an untherapeutic soul 

I probably won’t stop explaining myself if given the opportunity, but the need feels further away as time goes on, as boundaries apply themselves, as time does what it does 

I will not stand for being held responsible for anyone other than myself. 

Not even a notorious guilt trip will take me out of my newfound sense of self 

I’m not sure anyone sets out to judge with ill intentions, but when we do I think we sometimes have good reason to

I believe most decent people know exact what they’re saying and what they mean with those words

So taking it lightly isn’t in my vocabulary or realm of possibility 

Maybe our judgment can save us from deceit 

Maybe it can open our eyes just enough 

So now what to do with the side of me that’s numb…