perksofbeingmel

I look at myself and think, “how absolutely insane to carry on this way?”

I wonder what others think, if they know. I haven’t said much. Just carried on quietly. Which I think reflects my growth. My quietness, for once, has created waves.

Though I’m devastated to say the least, I’m thankful for the waves that have carried me this far. I chose to do the inner work most people ignore. I chose to listen to myself. I chose to swim in the waves, rather than drown.

I relish the sadness – as one does. I bathe in it when I need to feel closer to you.

Melancholy and me, we need each other to survive.

Grief is a solitary. Growth is too. You come out the other side better or worse. Or do you ever really come out of grief? To be determined I suppose.

Insane. Me? Meh. I can see it. I care if others see it, but at the same time, I don’t. My insanity is what some dream of, if you can believe that. People tell me that. They’ve told me my whole life.

The waves. Metaphorical, of course. They’ll take you anywhere you want to go.

Your mind & your soul will one day catch up with each other. Everything previous to that day, will feel small. Not irrelevant, but small. The clash will feel like everything makes no sense at all, but immense sense at the same time.

The previous was who and how you were meant to be. Call it the calm before the storm. And once you break through, shit, the rest is finally up to you.