Category: life, love, & seeking understanding
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🌊
I look at myself and think, “how absolutely insane to carry on this way?” I wonder what others think, if they know. I haven’t said much. Just carried on quietly. Which I think reflects my growth. My quietness, for once, has created waves. Though I’m devastated to say the least, I’m thankful for the waves…
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immeasurable desire
suddenly, yet not so, I’m back to 2013 where all I did was long for your existence. I knew how good life would be with you, I quite literally knew it was meant for me. though this time, in 2025, I’m left with the ache of knowing just how exquisite my life would become, because…
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numb
I wasn’t expecting to begin feeling somewhat numb to you From so heavily dependent on you, to now feeling avoidant and un phased Not missing you and not craving your attention is almost satisfying From being shaped by you to un shaping myself of you I never expected it But all my work must have…
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who was that kid?
I find it a bit troubling how the olympics happening (we aren’t even watching it) bothers me so much. I honestly can’t stand anything gymnastics related. It brings up a lot of weird feelings I’m trying to name and sit with, as much as I’d like to just push them away or not acknowledge them.…
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it’s always because of you.
what am I supposed to do with all this pain leftover? do I disperse it evenly in tolerable doses? I know that it will never go away, so to hell with the idea of trying to bury it. I believe in feeling everything – or, maybe I don’t believe it, so much as I cannot…
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turning chaos into euphoria
the ebbs and flows of my frustrations leave me unable to express my desires the emotions I’m always told are too much too sensitive “nobody cares” – but they do. I feel and hear everything, all at once, it’s not euphoric, it’s chaotic chaos I channel into happiness, and my everyday bliss for life –…
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the day the air was fresh
I think if you can find joy in how green the leaves look, how sweet the air feels in through your nose & how your lungs accept the air, the richness of the blue in the sky and the shapes of the clouds – then you have the means to be happy everyday of your…
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Am I sorry?
I could say sorry for a million things everyday But I don’t want to be sorry anymore I’m sorry I don’t feel like talking to anyone I’m sorry I get overwhelmed so easy I’m sorry I don’t make a lot of money I’m sorry I get so emotional I’m sorry I had attitude I’m sorry…
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what does it mean to hear nothing, how does it feel
so much noise at once the softness of spiderwebs in the grass the distant smoke seeping into the trees screams inside the chainsaw echo tree branches swaying, though the air is still cracks in the fence show shadows that aren’t there the air, exquisite, making all the noise worth it no clouds. Just blue, finally?…
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365 +- 3155 = forever
How could it already be 365 days? All I had with you was 3,155 days. Those days I replay in my head throughout the last 365, and for the rest of my life. Almost every moment accounted for. But counting the days is irrelevent. Sure it makes me grateful, I’ll be grateful for the rest…
perksofbeingmel 