perksofbeingmel

I always like to write a little bit when I’ve experienced or am about to experience a sort of “milestone.”  I’ve got two milestones coming up.  The first, my 21st birthday tomorrow!  Hooray, I get a horizontal license that verifies my age to start legally poisoning my body with alcohol.  YES.  *I will admit, that…

begging for conversation. always on the wrong side of the clock, both lost in faux love, without any navigation. we seemed to know it was always each other, but seemed to have some hesitation. always present; anticipation. your heart was broken. me? guilty. by association. the kind of love that was free, but there still had…

Mac & Prada are the loves of my life.  And I’ll just say it, they’re my soul mates.  They fill my life with so much love and joy.  The two of them have made me a better person, not only as an owner, but as a wife and person in this wild society. Having animals…

I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe this is happening. I guess this is what it feels like.  What you felt like, that frigid night. So I guess this is what you felt like. I told you the news expecting happiness.  So when you told me the same thing later, I gave you…

there was once a time when we were all that seemed to matter. it was most of the time when we knew what we felt was wrong, yet completely right. it was the times when we knew it was wrong, that we would rationalize why it could seem right. why was it right? was it…

when life was different, I was taking care of my younger cousin, hiding in closets from the screaming. when life was different, my mom, dad, sister and I were playing baseball and kickball in the backyard. when life was different, I would watch my dad burn leaves in the backyard. when life was different, my…

Tonight I feel alone, though I should feel far from it. Tonight I don’t feel like I’ll have anyone when everything falls apart.  Tonight I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. Am I meant to do anything? Tonight I don’t think I’m meant for anything extraordinary.   Tonight I’m settling for merely ordinary.…

As our time in Washing is ending, I’m getting really excited to move to Kentucky, well technically we’re living in Clarksville, TN, but anyways, I’m really excited!  I’ve been excited and on board to move to a new state since I found out the option was arriving.  But as our move day is approaching, two…

Today. Today I feel like everything last night affected the rest of my ‘todays.’ Today it seems like you’re unaffected, but I’m completely affected like a disease. Today makes me want to change. Today I know where my opinion counts. Today I can feel the grey sky pour into my body. Today I can feel…

It’s something I dread every single day.  It’s something my mind can’t handle even thinking about. Imagine if it happened.  Imagine what I’d do.   Think about what would become of the person everyone once knew.   What would my life be like?  Would I be totally different?  Would I ever be able to think…