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🌊
I look at myself and think, “how absolutely insane to carry on this way?” I wonder what others think, if they know. I haven’t said much. Just carried on quietly. Which I think reflects my growth. My quietness, for once, has created waves. Though I’m devastated to say the least, I’m thankful for the waves…
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immeasurable desire
suddenly, yet not so, I’m back to 2013 where all I did was long for your existence. I knew how good life would be with you, I quite literally knew it was meant for me. though this time, in 2025, I’m left with the ache of knowing just how exquisite my life would become, because…
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numb
I wasn’t expecting to begin feeling somewhat numb to you From so heavily dependent on you, to now feeling avoidant and un phased Not missing you and not craving your attention is almost satisfying From being shaped by you to un shaping myself of you I never expected it But all my work must have…
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selfish & pure at the same time
as time goes on with you, it’s very hard for me to look at anyone else and think their love could possibly be as great as ours until this year I had never thought that – I knew our story was great, I knew our love was great, but this year was a shift in…
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who was that kid?
I find it a bit troubling how the olympics happening (we aren’t even watching it) bothers me so much. I honestly can’t stand anything gymnastics related. It brings up a lot of weird feelings I’m trying to name and sit with, as much as I’d like to just push them away or not acknowledge them.…
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it’s always because of you.
what am I supposed to do with all this pain leftover? do I disperse it evenly in tolerable doses? I know that it will never go away, so to hell with the idea of trying to bury it. I believe in feeling everything – or, maybe I don’t believe it, so much as I cannot…
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perksofbeingmel 